


My Own Path

by IsLingLing



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Apologies, Big brain moves, But he just wants to see the aliens, Child Abuse, Disapproving Family, Especially of volleyball, F/M, His girlfriend isn't that great either, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, I'm sorry Oikawa, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Iwa-chan too, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Not Canon Compliant, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury, Oikawa has bad parents, Oikawa is smart, Oikawa's family is rich, Pacing? What's That, Suicide, high expectations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:42:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24952516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsLingLing/pseuds/IsLingLing
Summary: Oikawa's life was paved out for him. From birth, he was forced down a one way street of obedience. Molded into a perfect trophy child.But he has other plans.(ok this summary is awful)
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so tell me how its going. \\( •̀ ω •́ )/ (more notes at the end)

_ Oikawa’s youngest memories were inhabited by glowing words of praises when he did something right, or scathing insults when he fell short. Each moment was filled with pressure to be perfect.  _ Obey your parents, and you will be happy. In the end, we are always right.  _ So he did. He listened to every command and request they gave, so why wasn’t he happy? _

_ His first true joy was when he met Iwaizumi Hajime and discovered his passion for volleyball. His parents disapproved of his new interest, so he practiced in secret. He skipped lunches to practice and snuck out late in the night to practice in the park. At the start of middle school, he bargained with his parents so he could join the volleyball club, under the condition that he had to become the best, or else it was worthless. So he did.  _

_ But life never goes the way you want. After injuring his knee at a practice, volleyball was no longer worth it. Now, letting his grades slip was simply unacceptable. His days were once again flooded with endless lessons, and he was forced to excel in school.  _

_ He was back to square one with the secret practices late in the night and at lunchtime. At the start of a new school year, once again, he begged for his only joy back. Begrudgingly, they agreed.  _

_ Oikawa was stubborn, though. He didn’t just want the small joys back. He wanted to enjoy life at his own pace. To live fully as he desired. He wanted to laugh and love and wanted to smile genuine smiles. Was that too much to ask for? _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahaha next chapter. Enjoy!

Oikawa walked into the house quietly. He smiled slightly at the ache in his muscles and stepped upstairs to rinse the workout off his body. After stepping out of the warm shower into the cold air, he dressed and flopped down onto his bed, ready to lose himself in volleyball strategies, when,

“Tooru come here.” Oikawa groaned at his father’s summons, came downstairs anyways.

“Yes?”

“How is your volleyball going?”

Both of them knew the seemingly harmless inquiry’s true meaning. _Are you still abiding by our rules?_

“It is going well” _I’m still one of the top players._ “We’re going to the Inter-High semi-finals.” 

“Hmmm… I don’t suppose this is an excuse to neglect your studies?” _You’d better keep your grades up._

“I understand, father.”

“Alright then. You have another college prep tutor coming in half an hour. Get ready.”

“Yes, I will.” At that, his father signaled him away and Oikawa went to his workroom to gather his lesson materials. He sighed. _I could spend this time practicing. That stupid Ushiwaka is not gonna win this time._ For now, though, he couldn’t do much. Just sit through another mind-numbingly dull lesson. 

~~~

With, a sigh, Oikawa collapsed onto his bed again as his father finally allowed the tutoring session to end. His head was swimming with essays and interviews and whatnot. Mondays were his least favorite. He didn’t practice on those days, so _of course,_ his father exploited his rest for more tutoring.

With a sigh, he pulled up his messages and texted his most reliable friend.

To: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ 

aaa my dad made me take more lessons ;=;

From: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ

?How was it

To: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ 

terrible 

well im going to sleep now

gn

From: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ

Alright. Good night Shittykawa

To: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ 

iwa-chan! mean!

Oikawa smiled and closed his phone before drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this seems slow right now, but it'll get better. I promise. （＞人＜；）


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty. Chapter 3 now! (There's very mild language this chapter. Like one word.)

Iwaizumi flicked off the gym lights as they finished cleaning the gym. He was seriously annoyed by how every one of Oikawa's movements was accompanied by a cacophony of high-pitched feminine squealing from his ever-present fangirls.

“Yahoo girls, We have to head home now. We can talk tomorrow!” Oikawa waved and flashed a charming smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes as he practically waded through his crowd of fangirls with Iwaizumi following close behind.

As soon as he walked out of sight, his smile was replaced by a slight frown and he sighed. Iwaizumi knew about how Oikawa truly felt, but what could he do? 

He tried to ease the unusually tense silence between them. “The Inter-High semi-finals are in 5 days.”

“Mmhmm.” The two once again lapsed into an uneasy silence. 

“Hey, Tooru, everything okay?” the lack of the nickname only amplified Iwaizumi’s concern. Oikawa sighed as the pair walked out onto the sidewalk.

“No. I’m fine,” Oikawa replied half-heartedly.

“Bullshit. You look like the pavement’s personally offended you. Something’s up.” 

_ Caught _ . Oikawa sighed. Of course, his childhood friend could spot his lies.

“My parents found me a girlfriend.” Iwaizumi only nodded in acknowledgment. They both knew this was coming.

“Who is it?”

Oikawa pulled out his phone and scrolled to a picture of a girl with medium blonde hair and hazel eyes. She didn't look bad, but there was something about her that didn't seem very genuine.

"Her name's Marie and she goes to this school in London."

"I see. When is she coming here?" 

~~~

Three days later, Oikawa stood in one of the fancy ballrooms his parents owned and stiffly led [name] around while exchanging the appropriate pleasantries with the guests. He hated how she clung to him with what others merely saw as infatuation. Even worse were the little comments people made about them. They obviously didn't mean them

"Aw look at the new couple! They really suit each other."

"They can't even let go of each other!"

"They must really be in **love**."

That was it. Oikawa pried his new girlfriend's arms off him and beelined to the bathroom.

To: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ

i cant do this 

From: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ

.Stupid. You have to

_ read _

Oikawa sighed as he leaned on the cool porcelain wall. Iwaizumi was right. He had to. Summoning up the last of his will power, he forced himself away from the cool tiles and walked back into the stifling crowd of people. He groaned inwardly as his father approached him. 

"Why was Marie alone for so long?"

He winced and let out a rehearsed apology. "I'm sorry. I didn't feel well so I excused myself for a moment."

"Do you wish to leave?" His father's show of care was laced with disappointment. 

Oikawa weighed his options (which were quite limited) and resigned himself with the safest one. “No, father. Thank you for your concern.”

“Good. Now go find your lovely girlfriend.’”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing about space physics, so please forgive me for any inaccuracies. (Contains spoilers for season 2)

Oikawa laid down onto his bed, finally free of the stifling suit and that annoying girl. He scrolled aimlessly through his social media, his eyes skimming through random posts and whatnot until something caught his eye.

**PREFECTURAL SPACE AND PHYSICS CONVENTION.**

**WIN SCHOLARSHIPS TO [TOP UNIVERSITIES]**

**OPEN TO ALL HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS**

**ENTRIES DUE IN TWO MONTHS**

_ Now, this was interesting _ . Oikawa remembered the study he had started a few months ago. If he continued that, he could probably finish the paper in time, but that would mean many all-nighters if his tutoring sessions kept up. He sighed. He could ask his father to ease up on his work. _No. He couldn’t._

~~~

_ "Father! Can I please go to the Space Show next week?" _

_ "No. You have lessons from the new tutor." _

_ "Please? I'll be good," he pouted. _

_ "No means no. Go back to your room. There is nothing more to talk about." _

_ "But-" Young Oikawa's protest was cut off by a harsh blow to the back of his head. _

_ "Back to your room. **Now**. want those worksheets done by dinnertime." Oikawa glumly started tearing up at the rough words. *slap* "Stop crying. It's ugly. Get out of my sight.:" _

_ ~~~ _

With a huff, he got up and paced to his closet. He reached up and pulled out a shoebox filled with research pages and magazine clippings, among other things. Carefully, he dug to the bottom of the stack where there was a half-written paper on electromagnetism in Mars's poles. He'd started the paper after meeting a famous physics professor at a university tour last year, but as his father became suspicious of their influence on him, threatened to cut their correspondence and stop his volleyball. He was forced to obey once again. Internally, he cursed himself for giving in so easily but quickly shook those thoughts away. Dwelling on them would do him no good. maybe he could get back in touch with the professor. 

He swiftly pulled out his laptop and clicked to that university's faculty page.

_ Hmm, he's not there. _ He then found the past faculty page. _Ah, there he is._ Oikawa smiled at the sight of the grey-haired man's kind smile and warm eyes. They were much more welcoming than his own father's. 

Dear Professor,

My name is Oikawa Tooru and I believe we corresponded with each other a while ago. Unfortunately, personal reasons forced me to cut contact with you. I hope you can forgive me for how abruptly I stopped communications. 

However, this time I am requesting your assistance as I work on a paper I plan to submit to the coming Space Physics Convention.

I hope this message finds you well,

Oikawa Tooru

_**Send** _

A few minutes later, his email pinged and he smiled at the kind professor's agreement. Things were going well. He had two months to finish the rest of his research. But for now, he had to worry about The Spring Inter-High Qualifiers were coming up. Their next semi-final match would be against the wild-card: Karasuno.

~~~

_ Miyagi Prefectural Qualifiers- Karasuno v. Aoba Johsai _

"Give it to me!"

Hinata's cry echoed through the gym as everyone waited in bated breath. 

He watched as Kageyama ran behind Hinata to set up their freak quick.

_ Come at me with your ultimate weapon. _

A faint glimmer of satisfaction mingled with the adrenaline that coursed through his body as he saw Iwaizumi, Kindaichi, and Kyotani read the set-up and prepared to meet Hinata's spike, but that satisfaction was frozen over with dread as the ball came barreling over Kyotani's outstretched arms.

In an instant, it was over. 

All that was left was the ghost of a sting on his forearm as he stayed there, lunging, as the ball slowly stopped bouncing behind him.

~~~

"We lost." Two days later, Oikawa finally worked up the courage to confront his father over Aoba Johsai's defeat.

"I see," came his father's blunt response. "You can go now."

In his opinion, his father's lack of a reaction only added to his lingering anxiety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to post longer chapters so the story moves along more smoothly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More angst hehe.

Time Skip: 2 months

**_**Submit** _ **

Oikawa let out a breath as he submitted the fruit of his labor- a fully annotated, comprehensive paper explaining electromagnetism on Mars’s poles. He quickly shot an email to the kind professor, then texted his trustiest friend.

To: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ

i did it

i turned it in.

From: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ

.I knew you could

To: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ

owo is Iwa-chan actually being nice

From: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ

.I hate you, Trashykawa

To: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ

no you love me (^_^)

From: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ

Yes, you idiot

_.seen_

Oikawa leaned back in his chair and sighed. 3 weeks and he'd be graduating. If he got the scholarship, he'd be free from his parents. But for now, he just needed to hang on. 

  
Just

A

Bit

Longer.

~~~

“Marie is coming over in 2 days. I expect you to entertain her appropriately, eh?”

“Yes, father I will.” Oikawa bowed his head in defeat and left 

**_***ping!*** _ **

He practically dived to his phone before hurriedly scrolling to his inbox. Heart pounding, he clicked on the message with shaking hands

Dear Oikawa Tooru,

We congratulate you for your accomplishment in the Space Physics Convention, and would, therefore, like to extend this honor to you.

Your submission on electromagnetism in Mars’s poles demonstrated a level of dedication above and beyond our expectations, as well as exhibiting many important traits for a successful student. Your willingness to collaborate with and utilize resources around you shows resourcefulness and a collaborative spirit, which are both vital in this field. As a testament to your skill and potential, we would like to offer you a spot in the university’s world-class Astrophysics and Mathematics program, as well as a full-ride scholarship to said program. As you are now in your last year of high school, we hope you will join us next year and bring your fresh creativity and outlook to the field.

Warmest regards, 

University Admissions

A shot of pure euphoria coursed through his body as he finished reading the email. He did it. He could take it and leave his overbearing parents forever. With some balancing and part-time jobs, he’d be able to live fully on his own. Not a single cent needed to come from his parents. There was only one problem. He needed to confront his father sooner or later.

Eh, he’d do it later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting a book of one-shots drabbles and other stuff. It'll be here with the next chapter hopefully.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language and Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Past Abuse, Sexual Harassment.  
> Sorry about the amount of dialogue in this chapter ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

With a deep breath, Oikawa pulled open the front door and let his girlfriend, Marie, enter.

“Oh, Tooru. I’ve missed you so much!” _I can’t say the same for you,_ he thought.

He reluctantly caught her as she threw herself at him. If his father wasn’t watching him like a hawk, he’d have been glad to see her smash her made-up face into the marble.

“Mr. Oikawa-san! You still look amazing.” She pranced to his father and planted a kiss on each cheek.

“Why, Marie, darling you’re looking stunning as usual.” She smiled at the compliment.

“As do you, Mr. Oikawa-san.”

“Well, off you go. I’ll be back later tonight.”

He sighed as he walked upstairs to his room, Marie following close behind.

As he entered this room, he felt something brush his back pocket.

“What a cute wallpaper,” she giggled. He grimaced as she saw the group photo he’d taken with his volleyball team. He and Iwaizumi had their hands raised for a fist bump while the other team members posed around them.

“Give it back, Marie.” He was in no mood for this.

“Hmph. You’re no fun.” With volleyball honed reflexes, Oikawa caught the phone with one hand as she tossed it towards his face.

She sat down on the bed - his bed - and popped open a mirror and started reapplying her lip gloss. Internally, Oikawa recoiled in disgust at the ungodly amount of pink goo she was smearing on her lips. _Nope, I ain’t kissing that._ Another part of him wanted to shove the lip gloss down her throat. Maybe it could cover some of her awful personality.

“Say, Tooru. How about we go out for a nice shopping trip hmm?”

~~~

_Nice shopping trip my ass…._

“How do I look?”

“Amazing,” he deadpans.

“Okayyy! This one then!”

To: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ

Aaaaaa why is this so boring

From: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ

.Anything not aliens, milk bread, or volleyball is boring to you

To: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ

Awww, but Iwa-chan is not boring

From: Iwa-chan (ﾉﾞ･∀･)ﾉﾞ

.Why thank you

_seen_

“I’ll drop these off I the car.” _I don’t wanna carry all of this_.

“Oh, but I’m almost done,” Marie pouted, exaggeratedly sticking out her lower lip. _Right. Almost done…_

“Fine, hurry up then.”

~~~

An hour later, they were back in his room.

“Tooru.”

“What.” He was ~~not getting paid enough for this~~ way too tired to deal with his girlfriend’s shenanigans.

“Who are you texting?”

Now, Tooru was pissed. “None of your business,” he replies with barely disguised annoyance.

“Awww, you can tell me. I’m your girlfriend.” _Right, as if I want to deal with your clingy ass._

“Not by choice.”

Seeing that Oikawa wasn’t going to tell her anytime soon, she got up and sat herself down on his lap, facing him. He closed his phone.

“You wouldn’t hide anything from me, would you?” She switched tactics and trailed a finger along his jaw, peering at him through half-lidded eyes. It was a pathetic attempt to seduce him.

With a wink, he retorted: “jokes on you, I can and I will.” Now they were both fired up. Oikawa sat so still that Ushijima would’ve been proud ~~had he come to Shiratorizawa, that is,~~ and held her gaze emotionlessly.

When her hands started sneaking under his shirt, he promptly pushed them away. She was too close. He could feel the cloyingly sweet odor of her perfume suffocating him. Internally, Oikawa began to panic. If this kept up, he’d lose his temper. The past weeks’ stress wasn’t helping.

She leaned in closer with a smirk on her lips, While he sat there, frozen.

~~~

_“The hell are you doing, you stupid worthless child?!” His mother’s fury was accented by a slap on his face. She pulled him back up by the collar of his shirt._

_“When did I say you could use the TV, huh?” The smell of alcohol mixed with perfume surrounded them. His fearful brown eyes met his mother’s furious hazel ones. Unwillingly, a tear slid down his stinging cheek._

_“You ruined my body for nine months while I bore you, and you still have the audacity to cry?”_

_He simply hung limply from his mother’s grip while she hurled insults at him._

~~~

_No, I have to do something._

“ ** **Cut it out**** ”

With a shove, Marie was sprawled on his bed as Oikawa blinked away his memories, forcing them down deep within him.

“Its fu**ing Iwaizumi, isn’t it?” She seethed. “Is that why you didn’t kiss me?”

“ **Don’t talk about Hajime that way** ,” he responded coldly.

She sneered at him. “Oh, first name basis, huh? Just how close are you.”

“Closer than I’d ever let you get.”

“You’re gay.” She spits out the word as if it were poison, sending a jolt of nervousness through him, but he quickly replaces it with a smirk.

“So what if I am.”

“I can’t believe I asked to date you.” The disgust was evident in her voice as she followed her exclamation with a string of less-than-flattering insults.

Wordlessly, she snatched up her purse and stomped away.

Oikawa waited for the click of her heels on marble to fade before he let out a sigh.

_What if._

_What if I just left?_

_Would anyone miss me?_

Pulling out a clean sheet of paper, he began to write.


	7. Not an update im sorry ;=;

I don't like to say this, but I'm rather unhappy with how my idea turned out.   
No, I won't abandon this fic, but I will take some time to rewrite it.   
As I wrote, I strayed quite far from my original plan and therefore couldn't make my writing as consistent and well paced as I wanted.   
When this returns, it'll probably be on Wattpad as well.

Stay safe,  
IsLingLing

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me how i'm doing and give me advice in the comments. Leave kudos if you want. See you next chapter! (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ


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